Mario's Missing? AGAIN!
by MadLuigi
Summary: Take one Super Mario RPG, give it a twist of malice, a hint of humor, and add a dash of strange for flavor.
1. Chapter 1: Drunkard

Mario's Missing? AGAIN?!  
  
"Ok, start from the beginning," the officer told the little red spotted man, "what happened?"  
  
"Well," began the little man, "I went over to Mario's house. He and the Princess were supposed to be going out that evening and I was to escort them to the Yoshi's Island Bakery. I went to his house and there was no answer! I tried to look in the window, but I'm only 2 foot 3 inches tall."  
  
The officer snickered.  
  
"Hey! I don't think your lieutenant would be very pleased if he found out an officer was harassing a petite, defenseless little mushroom man!"  
  
Taken aback, the officer visibly straightened himself and got on his poker face. "Please, do go on," he stated.  
  
"Alright. Anyway, I was just staring off into the distance wondering what to do, and I hear this whistling, like a missile was just fired in my direction. Naturally, I jumped and turned around. There was a loud THUD from inside Mario's house, and several potted plants outside shook themselves clear out of the pots." He stopped for a moment and squinted into the bright light. "Do you really have to have that light on? It's not like I'm some suspect in a cri-" "YES!!! NOW GET ON WITH IT!!!" the officer screamed.  
  
"Jeez, fine. So I bust down the door Kung-Fu style! And there's Mario just kind of lying there with something in his hand. I walk up to him and he's snoring!! He was asleep!! I look in his hand and he's got a beer bottle in his hand and a couple of cards sticking out of his sleeve. I start shaking him and yelling 'Mario!! Mario!! Wake up!! What's going on?!' He started mumbling something like '*Groan*. Bowser. Gimme another cold one. Hah!! Five aces!' I was very confused at this point. Then, he looks up at me really woozily and tries to focus, but he was clearly intoxicated. He stands up and looks at me, really trying to focus, but breathing schnapps breath all over me. He makes some weird noise like a flooded lawnmower and punches me out the door!"  
  
The officer started to write things down on the report paper.  
  
"And your name is. Toad?" he asked  
  
"Yes, that's correct."  
  
". Riiiiiight. Well, we'll dispatch an officer immediately to investigate, thank you for your cooperation."  
  
Toad nodded and jumped. or rather, fell, out of his chair and walked to the door. The officer was still busy filling out the paper, looking at his watch and checking other sheets.  
  
"Umm. Sir?" The officer looked up, "Yes?. Oh, I'm sorry."  
  
The officer got up, walked over, and opened the door for the little mushroom man who barely reached passed his knees. 


	2. Chapter 2: The Chancellor

"Mario's Missing? AGAIN?!"  
  
Ok ok, so I didn't really give you ANY detail on how this story is going to flow, so I might as well now... You should probably know Super Mario RPG fairly well before you read this, since it will sorta follow that story line. Also, Toad is our protagonist, but my story will only feature him a little more than usually. And I didn't put this on the last one, but I have it in my profile, just a little safety...  
  
I don't own Mario  
  
Nor Luigi  
  
They belong to Nintendo  
  
So don't sue me!  
  
(Goes for all Nintendo characters mentioned.)  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"WHAT?!" The little Chancellor of Mushroom Kingdom ran around the room hysterically.   
  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S GONE?!" He was lucky to have gotten that cordless phone or he would have had serious tanglement problems with the way he was running around.  
  
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE HE IS?!!... NO I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!!!" The police chief was starting to get annoyed. At first the chancellor thought it was a prank call to upset him, then he rufused to believe it until he finally realized that annoying beep was call waiting and hit the flash button. On the other line, Toad explained the story while the police chief sat on hold waiting to in*terror*gate several suspects... That was his favorite part of the job.  
  
"WELL?! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT?!... SOON?! WHAT THE GOOMBA DOES THAT MEAN?!... FINE, BUT I NEED HIM BACK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!! IF I DO NOT HAVE HIM I WILL INFORM THE MAFI--FBI!!"  
  
He slammed the phone down, which really wasn't necessary, those new cordless phones with the Caller I.D. and TeleZapper and stuff fit perfectly into their charger base. He stomped around angrily for a while and then decided that he had nothing to be angry about, just worried, so he stopped stomping, laid down in a fetal position on the floor, and started whimpering.  
  
"Ohh.. ohh... what am I going to do?!... ohh... *tear*..." he cried as he lay on the floor. A faithful servant passing the doorway saw him and ran in, dropping his load of the Chancellor's dirty laundry on the floor in the hallway.  
  
"Sir!! What's wrong?!" he frantically yelled.  
  
"He's Missing! No way! To protect! Mushroom Kingdom! From evil! Ever-devouring scourge! Uther the Lightbringer! Prince Arthas!"  
  
"... I think you've been playing a bit too much WarCraft 3 late at night, Chancellor..."  
  
"No!! Mario is missing!!!"  
  
"How could you play that? You don't have a Super NES!"  
  
"... Dammit!! No!! The real Mario is gone!! We don't know where he is!!"  
  
"Ohh... so what was that with Uther and Artha--" "JUST SHUT UP AND GET TOAD OVER HERE NOW!!!" 


End file.
